Things I lost in the fire

Today I have one of my shitty days. One of those days where I think back of all the stupid shit I pulled in my life and how daft I've been for so long. Sometimes I'm just amazed by the fact that I still have people around me and sometimes I wish they were near more often cuz sometimes I feel so fucking alone.


I write, I still do sometimes. I havent written any shitty piece of poetry for ages. I just cant anymore. What the hell happened to that silly drive I used to have to put every crappy piece of emotion in words, words no one really would read and words that would only remind me of how shitty I feel sometimes.

I'm so much older now than I was. And still such a long stretch of the track to run. So many books to read and so much knowledge I might never actually gain. I steel thoughts from great minds without fully comprehending what it is they say. I drive around sometimes looking for a place and never taking the short road cuz I just like the drive.


So I'm sometimes looking back for those things I lost in the fire. Life is the fire cuz it burns away the years you have left. I am drinking whiskey that is actually to expensive for my tormented taste buds but I like it anyways. Makes me feel decadent and hell I'm a decadent fellow allright!

I listened to the words of good ol' Kurt. Kurt Schwitters ofcourse, hero of the past. Arent we all heroes of the past, little flames turning into embers and then ashes. Ashes, I love that word. Ash is really depressive in its own way but it just has a great ring to it doesn't it? I love this automatic writing, I'm letting my mind guide the keys and total sillyness appears.

I still thing boredom is counterrevolutionairy, but I wish I remembered what revolution was.